nic at night

for the first time, this week, I've felt that the jobs we have in dc are somewhat unusual. being here, it's easy to get used to all the bumbling 22 year olds working on capitol hill, for senators and representatives, nonprofits, and the like. it doesn't usually seem odd that a friend from high school works for a senator on health policy issues, just (I suppose) as it doesn't seem odd that other friends are doctors, lawyers, professors and such.

this week, though, I got to call my friend for a work-related request: to ask if my aunt & cousins could get a staff-led tour of the capitol. it's largely coincidental that they're from michigan, so the senator is actually their senator, which means that they themselves could call the office for a staff-led constituent tour (which not many people know is an option). it was funny to feel like I was on the inside track, though.

and, they should be on the tour right now. I hope they like it; I've never been!

we're back in north america.

our whistle-stop tour of ireland (as my cousin called it) was grand. love-ly.

full of: hedges, sheep, old men, old sheep, drunk old men, lambs, old men on bikes, black-faced sheep, old men weaving, cows, gorse, rocks, hysterical laughing while trying not to crash the car by running into any of the above, gale force wind, pelting rain, wee mountains, sheer drop-offs, fish, geese, lots of really common birds that still necessitated looking them up in a guide book, boiled potatoes, fried potatoes, mashed potatoes, hash browned potatoes, wet feet, wet socks, wet jackets, lumpy beds, heart attack on a plate every morning, et cetera.

also some beer and lots of really old buildings, the descriptions of which most frequently included the phrase "...and stood until cromwell came and smashed all the windows / burned the roof."

no whiskey, though, although we came home with 2 whiskey glasses and 2 bottles of scotch from the duty free.

more later; for now, my own bed!

one of my goals for my 30s, despite being several years behind the trend curve, is to learn to knit. so, I've accomplished that! I suppose now I can modify that to "knit something" and then still have something to strive toward for the remaining 97% of the decade.

I was at caribou with a student and noticed a group of people knitting. seizing my chance, I asked them if the group was a private group of friends or if it was an open gathering, and they invited me to join them. I discovered that it was the logan circle stich-n-bitch group, and that they meet at least once a week in my neighborhood (sometimes at coffeeshops and sometimes at a knitter's house). one of the guys there was nice enough to show me the basics (casting on, knit, purl) and then fill me in on the local shops where I could get yarn and needles (he recommended knit happens in alexandria, and another person recommended stitch dc in georgetown, noting that it's more of a boutique).

while being proud of my accomplishment (it helped that my volunteer teacher was saying "that's right, that's perfect!" almost every stitch, which boosted my confidence), I was also relieved to find out that the technique he taught me is the one in the stitch-n-bitch book I picked up in ann arbor (as mentioned, just in time for the second more advanced one to come out!) so that I can refresh my understanding if/when I try it on my own.

I've talked with a friend (our bridge night hostess) about wanting to knit, and I just might get myself together to get some yarn and needles and bring those and the instructional book to her place tomorrow night. armed with my new-found knowledge and her crocheting experience, how bad can we be?

it seems like wednesday is the day I pause and regroup, with the first item of business upon regrouping then being to realize that it's wednesday.

I got to see a lot of my friends this weekend, which was nice. friday night was our monthly salon, where the topic of how we relate to money was a good one. it didn't take much prodding to get us going (and, as usual, some of us needed a little prodding to keep quiet. I'll leave it up to your prodigious imaginations to consider where I fall in the group). rachel was also in town for a conference, so we got to spend saturday evening together. since we only see each other in person every few years, it's good that we just pick up where we leave off when we have time in person. so, much silliness ensued. on sunday I got a chance to catch up with scott, and confirmed that polly's is really best for brunch. like the luna cafe, they don't add milk/cream to their hollandaise sauce, which makes the brunch that much more attractive to non-dairy (but not vegan) vegetarians. he then got lured into dana's sunday game, so he might become another regular with that. it is definitely entertaining eavesdropping on them as they play, which is what I spent most of the afternoon doing, while also finishing up jonathan strange....

while out with rachel, we ran into one of the few other people I know in the area, a woman that I went to grad school with. I hadn't realized she'd moved to dc to write up, but we're going to get together this coming weekend to catch up on things. with luck I'll also get together with zeki, from my AIDS ride team way back when, for some dog-walking and general catching up.

in between the grading of papers and cleaning of the house and planning of the trip to ireland, I was reminded this week of the fun people who are already in my life, and I'm looking forward to seeing more of them as spring rolls around. seems like this time of year I always look back on winter and think, "what was I complaining about?" it's nice to realize that even those things that seem oh-so-serious at the time just get a bit easier when the sun shines.

I can tell that I'm internalizing my age, because I'm wearing jeans more when I'm teaching. when I started teaching college classes, I was 23. like most grad students, I dressed pretty much like most of my students, but since I was working with professors on most of the courses my authority wasn't an issue.

when I started teaching post-grad-school, I was 27. because I was teaching a night class, most of my students were my age or older, and I tried to dress up more so that they'd listen to me. ok, now I know that when people are paying someone to teach them something at night after going to their regular job all day they pretty much listen no matter what the person is wearing, but there was still this element of being taken seriously that I was concerned about.

I've continued like this, wearing my Lawyer Clothes to teach, through the past 3 years. but this semester, I've been wearing jeans a lot more. ok, jeans with jackets and collared shirts, but still: jeans. I can't figure out if this means that I don't care if they like me, or I've become adept at controlling them through fear, or that I no longer believe they will continue to confuse me for a 25 year old if I don't dress the part.

probably some of all of the above.

one of the weirdest things about living in dc is the reality that we're living in the south. not just "the farthest south we've ever lived," although that's certainly true. but below the mason-dixon line. which, in case you didn't know, runs along the top of maryland, and along the bottom of pennsylvania. while I like to argue that the qualitatively relevant line is the line of secession (putting dc and maryland in the "north" for civil war era purposes), that's just because I'm a northerner in pretty much every possible way.

lately, it seems like virginia just keeps giving me more and more reasons to renew my vow never to live there (a tough one to keep for many middle-class people in this area, as the statewide cost of living is much lower than dc or much of maryland), to the point that even dana agrees there's pretty much no way we're ever going to be voluntarily in the position of paying taxes to "that state."

now, I concede that many states in all parts of the country are rushing to pass homophobic laws In These Difficult Times. yes, I fault all those other states, too. but virginia is in the vanguard of states trying to not only be homophobic themselves (by preventing gay people from adopting children or gaining status equal to married couples), but are trying to negate any arrangements made in other states that might *gasp* grant rights to gay people that virginia denies. while virginia, I'm sure, just believes its being really clever and thorough (and yes, I do think of the state itself as a malevolent being of sorts), there's such a appalling disregard for the basics of inter-state relationships that it's concerning in and of itself.

what the hell am I talking about? I'm talking about the full faith and credit clause (article iv, section 1). ok, yes, normally things like discussions of what articles of the constitution actually say are tediously boring and make most people's eyes glaze over. but, consider this: you buy a car in dc, you expect to still own it when you drive it to virginia. you decline to be an organ donor on your dc license, you expect that to still be honored in virginia. you rent a car in dc, you expect it to still be yours to drive in virginia. complete no-brainers, especially on the small-state coast. in the other direction, it doesn't matter that you're only 20 and can't buy alcohol in the u.s.; if you go to canada, you can drink there. ok, so: you adopt a kid in dc, you expect to still be their parent in virginia. you marry someone in dc, you expect to still be married in virginia.

this is where virginia has gone off the deep end, by refusing to recognize legal arrangements entered into in other states. it's one thing to deny those things to people in your state, but the whole concept of the freedom to travel or, basically, buy things in other states and take them home, is based on the presumption that contract entered into in other states (especially contracts entered into with other state governments, which is what marriages and adoptions are) are recognized as valid wherever you go in the u.s. (a reasonable presumption, given that it's one of the few affirmative provisions in the admirably brief original body of the constitution).

so yes, other states are refusing to grant marriage certificates to couples where both people are of the same gender. other states and counties refuse to allow either second-party adoptions by someone of the same gender as a child's biological parent or adoptions of children by two people of the same gender. ok. but only virginia is refusing to acknowledge contracts entered into in other states as valid in virginia.

and we're not talking about things, we're talking about people. it's one thing to say that the car you bought in another state has to meet certain criteria to be driven on our roads (as virginia also does wrt window tinting). it's a completely different thing to say, *poof* that deed's not valid here.

perhaps it's nerdy of me to be incensed by how blatantly this violates the full faith and credit clause than that it violates equal protection principles. but interpretations of the equal protection clause don't yet protect you from denial of the right to marry, but the full faith and credit clause always protects contracts that you enter into that are legal when and where you entered into them.

the upshot is that it's wack. one of the gifts I gave my parents this year for christmas was a donation to an organization that helps protect the rights of gay and lesbian parents (moral of the story: if you encourage me to give a donation to charity in your name, I will, in fact, go ahead and do so). I haven't actually made the donation yet, because I was searching for a local group to give to, which looks to be equality virginia. receiving a letter from them in the mail reminded me of this whole nonsense.

if dc weren't entirely overseen by a congressional committee, I'd be tempted to work to get the city council to pass a law refusing to recognize any contracts entered into in virginia. since it is, I just bitch about it whenever it comes up.