4.11.2005
the kiwano, or: don't eat ornamental plants
so, at whole foods last week I picked up some odd-looking "exotic" fruits:
they looked like an odd cross between a mango and a star fruit, which piqued my curiosity. never having seen one before, I promptly bought two (because 2 is better than 1!) and went home to look them up on the internet. I discovered that they were kiwanos, described as "spiney ornamental melons," with tangy pulpy insides, full of seeds covered in goop (kind of like pomegranates).
slicing one open, I discovered that they did in fact have pulpy seedy insides, as advertised:
once I'd sliced it open, I was at a bit of a loss as to how to go about eating it. granted, the slimey green quality of the inside had me a little dubious, but I was determined to persevere. I'm not sure why, given that I'd just recently discovered that the melon was "ornamental," but I hadn't been completely turned off yet.
in order to eat the jelly without swallowing a bunch of seeds, I scooped the insides into a bowl:
close-up, capturing the near flourescent aspect of the green pulp:
it was at this point that I believed I exclaimed, on the phone to a friend, "this looks like food out of harry potter!" again, this might have been a good point to stop and reconsider the wisdom of the plan to actually eat this "fruit," but I decided I'd come this far, I might as well taste it.
so I did. and, well, it tasted nasty. tangy and odd and slimey and sort of bubbly and pretty much what it looks like it'd taste like. gross.
of course, I promptly carried it into the other room to try to feed it to dana, all the while telling my friend with whom I was still having a phone conversation that she should rush right out and buy one, because it was so disgusting!
and then, about 1/2 hour after swallowing at most a teaspoon, I got agonizing stomach cramps and thought I was going to die. given that whole foods likely wouldn't sell something poisonous, we chalked the stomach cramps up to my acupuncture treatment earlier that day.
but still: don't eat ornamental plants. the end.
they looked like an odd cross between a mango and a star fruit, which piqued my curiosity. never having seen one before, I promptly bought two (because 2 is better than 1!) and went home to look them up on the internet. I discovered that they were kiwanos, described as "spiney ornamental melons," with tangy pulpy insides, full of seeds covered in goop (kind of like pomegranates).
slicing one open, I discovered that they did in fact have pulpy seedy insides, as advertised:
once I'd sliced it open, I was at a bit of a loss as to how to go about eating it. granted, the slimey green quality of the inside had me a little dubious, but I was determined to persevere. I'm not sure why, given that I'd just recently discovered that the melon was "ornamental," but I hadn't been completely turned off yet.
in order to eat the jelly without swallowing a bunch of seeds, I scooped the insides into a bowl:
close-up, capturing the near flourescent aspect of the green pulp:
it was at this point that I believed I exclaimed, on the phone to a friend, "this looks like food out of harry potter!" again, this might have been a good point to stop and reconsider the wisdom of the plan to actually eat this "fruit," but I decided I'd come this far, I might as well taste it.
so I did. and, well, it tasted nasty. tangy and odd and slimey and sort of bubbly and pretty much what it looks like it'd taste like. gross.
of course, I promptly carried it into the other room to try to feed it to dana, all the while telling my friend with whom I was still having a phone conversation that she should rush right out and buy one, because it was so disgusting!
and then, about 1/2 hour after swallowing at most a teaspoon, I got agonizing stomach cramps and thought I was going to die. given that whole foods likely wouldn't sell something poisonous, we chalked the stomach cramps up to my acupuncture treatment earlier that day.
but still: don't eat ornamental plants. the end.
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